you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
