P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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