yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
