idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
