I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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