Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
