fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
