Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
