Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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