You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
