he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
