I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
