Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
