Having a random hookup so left but love u
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
