He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
