Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
