i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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