actually, I'm a sock model
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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