Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?

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(705): View more from Ontario

he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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(727): View more from Florida

Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast

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(303): View more from Colorado

Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.

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