Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
