Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
