It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
