for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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