Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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