That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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