i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
