I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
