she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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