How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
