The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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