let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
