a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
