It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
