Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
