She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
