Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
