Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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