My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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