Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
