So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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