So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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