whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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