I cannot find my penis.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
