omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
