I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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