I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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