We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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