My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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