Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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