So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
