We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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